When The Customer Changes Everything

1. The Story

Topher Thomas wasn’t supposed to become a construction entrepreneur. When we first met—me newly retired, him a visionary schoolteacher—he told me he wanted to tackle Durham’s affordable housing crisis and still provide for his young family. So he did the bold, naive, fully human thing: he started a construction company called Coram Houses.Over three years of coffees and conversations, I’ve watched him grow. His curiosity and energy have kept my older batteries charged, and every so often he drops a story that reframes the way I think.At our most recent lunch, he told me he had just completed a duplex build in record time—less than 90 days, start to finish, with no drama and the highest profit margins he’d ever achieved. The schedule even had enough slack for his project manager to take vacation in the middle of it.Naturally, I asked:
“Topher, what made this project different?”His answer came instantly:
“We didn’t have to answer to any customers.”They were the customer this time. No anxious homeowners. No daily check-ins. No change requests. No pressure to justify every design decision.Just clarity.Anyone who has ever built anything—a house, a business, a software system—has felt it:
“This job would be so much easier without customers.”Because customers have interests, fears, questions, and expectations. And those things take time—time that can dramatically expand the duration and cost of a project.But the spec home world is only one part of Topher’s mission.His heart—and most of his work—is in building ADUs (Auxiliary Dwelling Units...aka Tiny Backyard Homes) for homeowners, many of whom are taking a financial leap of faith. Some are on the edge of being priced out of their neighborhoods. Others are hoping this unit will be their first step toward generational wealth.For them, being involved isn’t a luxury—it’s essential.And during this lunch, something seemed to click for Topher:
Customer negotiation is the work.
Not an obstacle.
Not an interruption.
A core part of building stability, affordability, and trust.He hasn’t redesigned his processes yet. But he is standing right at the edge of that realization—and that’s where the win-win opportunity begins.

⭐️ Why Collaboration Must Be Designed, Not Discovered

Topher’s insight also revealed something familiar: when there isn’t a clear collaboration structure from the start, the relationship almost always slips into one of two unhelpful modes—accommodating the customer at the expense of project profits or competing with them at the expense of the customer relationship. Avoiding them isn’t an option, and bouncing between yes-saying and line-holding guarantees someone loses.

Collaboration only works when it’s designed early. Without that foundation, even good intentions turn into tension, and the project feels harder than it needs to be.

2. AGENT at Work (Win-Win Insight)

Topher’s breakthrough wasn’t that customers slow projects down. It was this:
Customers don’t know how to be customers in a construction project—and that’s where he can create enormous value.

He’s beginning to imagine a world where collaboration is built into the project, not bolted on afterward. Maybe that looks like a few decision points where homeowners get meaningful choices, rather than constant open-ended input. Maybe it means a short “What to Expect” guide that explains which decisions are easy, which are expensive, and when changes can derail a schedule. Maybe it means weekly updates instead of unpredictable mid-day texts.

Small structures. Big clarity.

How AGENT Shows Up Here

• AWARE: Customers need involvement; builders need standardization and predictability.

• GROUND: Coram’s interests: reliable timelines, efficient builds, profitability, and referenceable customers.

• EMPATHIZE: Homeowners are anxious, budget-conscious, inexperienced, and terrified of making a costly mistake.

• NEGOTIATE: Topher is beginning to explore collaborative options—like offering curated design packages, setting clear decision windows, and giving customers a single point of contact to guide them.

• TIE: The eventual goal will be simple agreements about how decisions get made and what happens when scope shifts.

Takeaway:
Clarity is a gift. Collaboration is the structure that delivers it.

3. Practice for the Week — 🛠 Try This in Your Own Life

1. Look for the friction point.
   Is the “problem” really the work, or is it unclear collaboration?

2. Try a pre-brief.
   Before the next shared project, spend five minutes saying:
   “Here’s how we’ll work together, and here’s when I need your input.”

3. Add one small structure.
   A weekly update, a simple decision checklist, or a shared timeline can turn chaos into calm.

4. Closing Note

Every mission worth pursuing involves people—and people bring their hopes, fears, and uncertainties with them. The question isn’t how to avoid that. It’s how to shape it into something productive.Topher is beginning that journey. And like all win-win beginnings, it starts with awareness, curiosity, and a willingness to design the relationship, not just the project.See you in the win-win moments this week,
Sam

5. Call to Action

✨ Want support designing a tough conversation or collaboration? Try practicing with the AGENT chatbot before your next step. 100% of my workshop attendees do.

Hit reply and share your Win-Win story.We're building a Win-Win AGENT community here and sharing is caring.P.S. - Many of you wanted to know which one of those handsome first graders was me. I'm the one staring off into the distance. I still do that a lot :-).